Resident Evil: Extinction

Originally posted on Sept 30, '07, at slangards.multiply.com

I never have actually played the Resident Evil games, so I can't really tell you how the movie sucks compared to the game. I'm not really a connoisseur of artsy fartsy "films" so I'm not going to tell you that this was a total waste of time and money and that they should never have made a film this stupid.

I like Paul W.S. Anderson movies for what they are; fluff pieces that are fun to watch. He's what Uwe Boll wishes he could be. I can honestly say I like the Resident Evil movie franchise. I thoroughly enjoyed the first movie. I thought it was a nice sci-fi take on the whole zombie-eat-brains movie. The whole laser hallway and the evil queen computer... all good stuff. The down and out military crack team, surrounded by undead, picked off one by one. cool. And that dress. You know the one I'm talking about. They can put almost anything on Milla and she'd still look good (witness Fifth Element), but that dress was...

I was disappointed with the second, though. Someone needs to teach Sienna Guillory to hold a gun. Her character was pretty useless wasn't she? And what the hell is up with the bad guy, Nemesis? He looks like something out of the WWE. It was just a mess from the start. But then, It's Milla Jovovich doing arnis, so... meh.

I'm glad the franchise has gone back to the tone of the first one with Extinction. Empty streets, instead of corridors, zombie crows instead of dogs (though there are your requisite dogs in this one too). I'm kinda on the fence with the whole psionic powers gimmick, but there's the addition of both Ali Larter and Ashanti (though the latter croaks pretty early on) to the cast so I can't really complain. And you really can't go wrong with Milla Jovovich walking around in tight shorts with guns and knives and what-have-you.

Let's face it, that's really the reason anybody watches these movies. We could care less about the rest of the cast, as long as Milla does a few cool copiera moves and makes it to the last reel, we're fine with the price of admission.