MacGyver

Originally posted on July 12, '07 at slangards.multiply.com

I should have learned by now that one should never... NEVER... watch favorite television programs from their childhood. Movies are OK. They usually hold up relatively well for decades after their release. I still love Labyrinth and Transformers the Movie and Gremlins. But TV shows? no no NO.

Despite the fact that I'd already done it with Transformers and GI Joe, I still decided to watch MacGyver when my sister got us the DVD of the sixth and seventh seasons. I've gone through 5 episodes so far and the only thing I can say is:

"How come I never realized what a gullible idiot I was as a kid?"

Seriously, this stuff is beyond preposterous. I thought "24" was moronic with Bauer attracting bad mojo every which way, but Angus MacGyver is even worse. Within the first five episodes of the sixth season, old Mac has already faced para-military vigilante street toughs rocking to the worst 80's rap you'll ever hear, Romanian super commandos trained to blindly follow orders and bent on killing him, Iranian gunrunners bent on finding a cursed gun used in the assassination of a presidential candidate, local junkies wanting to sell and/or get rid of said gun, a breathless wacko jacko wanabee who have been accused of a murder using said gun, an underage drunkard that looks a lot like Mayim Bialik, and a hot ex Stasi agent and her former cohorts in search of West German gold.

Who does all that?

Still, I have to admit I have a blast searching through all this nonsense for those gems where he works his magic to get out of the impossible situations his job as a consultant for the Phoenix Foundation seems to get him into. Jack Bauer's got nothing on the Mac. I mean where else are you going to learn that you can open government safes using a telephone or that coffee can help when you're having asthma attacks?