Jollibee Kiddie Meal Beast Wars

Rating:	★
Category:	Other

These toys are crap. period.

Why the hell did I buy them then, you ask? Because I'm a sucker for marketing. I'm the sort of guy who will go to a fast food joint, order a value meal, and then when the counter jockey says "would you like to get a liter of cola for only P20.00 more?", I say, "why, yes, I would in fact like to give you P20.00 more for a liter of sugar".

This is probably the reason I'm fat.



Anyway, I saw the promo poster for this with the word "Transformers" emblazoned on it and I didn't even think; I asked the lady at the cash register for "3 kiddie meals, with one of each, please. I didn't even think to examine the display figures closer. When I got them back to the table and opened them, I was immediately hit with a wave of revulsion. Not dislike or regret... revulsion. That is how ugly these are. The line up is Cheetor, Optimus Primal, and Megatron, but fan boy shouts of "trukk not munky" aside, they are really, really ugly.

At this size, common sense would dictate that they pick one form and really knock that one out of the park, and then phone in the other, but no. Both forms look fugly. The Cheetah looks nothing like a cheetah, the Gorilla isn't really a gorilla, and the Dragon... ok, the dragon looks kind of like a dragon, but not a very pretty one.

Transformation is ridiculous. It's not even pull-out-arms-and-legs gobot style. It's stand-up-and-you-done. You don't even need to turn the heads. On the top of each Autobot's head is a beast form face. sigh. Megatron is a little better with a turn-me-sideways-and-swing-out-arms scheme, but it's by no means a real improvement.

I have no idea why Jollibee decided to include the little black stands/boxes with them. They add nothing to the figure. Seriously, if you're crazy enough to display these, you're not going to do it atop these featureless black squares. Why not use the extra plastic and cost to do a little more with the figures?

After the Jollibee Voltron set (which fetches about P500.00 online last I checked), this is a major disappointment. J-bee would have been better off doing some cute little desktop statues, like Hasbro's Robot Heroes series. You can't even argue that I'm not the market for this toy, since these toys aren't really for kids. There are too many tiny parts to swallow and the cheap, rubber-like plastic use won't hold up to any real play wear.

Now... who wants to buy my set?