Jollibee Kiddie Meal Beast Wars

These toys are crap. period.

Why the hell did I buy them then, you ask? Because I'm a sucker for marketing. I'm the sort of guy who will go to a fast food joint, order a value meal, and then when the counter jockey says "would you like to get a liter of cola for only P20.00 more?", I say, "why, yes, I would in fact like to give you P20.00 more for a liter of sugar".

This is probably the reason I'm fat.

Anyway, I saw the promo poster for this with the word "Transformers" emblazoned on it and I didn't even think; I asked the lady at the cash register for "3 kiddie meals, with one of each, please. I didn't even think to examine the display figures closer. When I got them back to the table and opened them, I was immediately hit with a wave of revulsion. Not dislike or regret... revulsion. That is how ugly these are. The line up is Cheetor, Optimus Primal, and Megatron, but fan boy shouts of "trukk not munky" aside, they are really, really ugly.

At this size, common sense would dictate that they pick one form and really knock that one out of the park, and then phone in the other, but no. Both forms look fugly. The Cheetah looks nothing like a cheetah, the Gorilla isn't really a gorilla, and the Dragon... ok, the dragon looks kind of like a dragon, but not a very pretty one.

Transformation is ridiculous. It's not even pull-out-arms-and-legs gobot style. It's stand-up-and-you-done. You don't even need to turn the heads. On the top of each Autobot's head is a beast form face. sigh. Megatron is a little better with a turn-me-sideways-and-swing-out-arms scheme, but it's by no means a real improvement.

I have no idea why Jollibee decided to include the little black stands/boxes with them. They add nothing to the figure. Seriously, if you're crazy enough to display these, you're not going to do it atop these featureless black squares. Why not use the extra plastic and cost to do a little more with the figures?

After the Jollibee Voltron set (which fetches about P500.00 online last I checked), this is a major disappointment. J-bee would have been better off doing some cute little desktop statues, like Hasbro's Robot Heroes series. You can't even argue that I'm not the market for this toy, since these toys aren't really for kids. There are too many tiny parts to swallow and the cheap, rubber-like plastic use won't hold up to any real play wear.

Now... who wants to buy my set?


  1. oh yeah...yuri's always on the go for kiddie and happy meal toys, buti na lng hindi pa nya nakikita to...arrrrrggggh ang fanget! hehehe! :) -glen

  2. same here...thanks for the about mcd's spiderman???

  3. pwedeng bang tumawa?? --> WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  4. If you post a topic like this on "Cybertron Philippines" you're guaranteed to get kicked off their forums and banned from their live events. They don't like it when their sponsors get negative comments, Very interesting read dude!

  5. If you post a topic like this on "Cybertron Philippines" you're guaranteed to get kicked off of their forums and banned from their live events. Very interesting read dude!

  6. There's already a negative review on the forums from another member, dude.

    And really, I don't feel anyone could give these a GOOD review.

  7. this reminds me of the time u got the so-called surprise boxes from Burger King... and surprise! they're empty. hahahah

  8. These are meal toys they should look crap in our standards, but for these kids its a toy they should get. ^_^

  9. Thanks for the review, Dennis... I agree on the points that you raised :) Just bend it and considered it transformed. I was also going to put up a review last Feb 13, but things got too busy in the office.

    ...oh! and Cybertron Philippines is a free place... you can pretty much comment on everything. There were only 2 people banned there. Both for Trolling (bashing members with unfounded claims). I guess those peeps are still bitter up to now

    edit: forgot that we unbanned one of them since he apologized personally and made up for his mistakes in the past... there is only one troll that is still banned at Cybertron Philippines.

  10. hahaha!!! with bright eyes and ready smile!!! scary!!!

  11. these things are crap. i'm surprised you even made a review. aces on the review and crap bombs for the toys. hehe.

  12. Yeah, which is why they're already sold out. sigh. Kids are dumb. :)

    When I have one, I'm so gonna make him into a toy connoisseur.

  13. I rather liked that they brought back Beast Machines (yeah, probably jumping on the TF hype) but now I'm sorta hoping they do Beast Wars :P
    All three are based on the real BM toys (Primal on deluxe, Cheetor and Megatron on megas).
    The old Jollibee stands (round ones) were suppose to be cup covers. Dunno about the square ones though.
    Sooo, um, you serious about selling your set?


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