Invincible Iron Man

Originally posted at slangards.multiply.com on Mar 11, '09


Not only am a sucker for marketing, I'm also a sucker for hype. A certain toy goes on sale and the collector forums start buzzing and I'm running for the nearest Toy Kingdom with my wallet in one hand, and a handy tote bag for haulage in the other. That's basically what happened with this thing.

Now a Masterpiece Transformer is one thing, but I wasn't sure I wanted to drop P9,000 on a Hot Toys Iron Man Mark III. I'm a big fan of the movie, of Robert Downey Jr. and of toys, but 9 grand is a heck of a lot of scratch. Still, I wanted a centerpiece to my Iron Man collection and I read on the boards that the Hasbro 12" Movie Iron Man was going on sale to clear space for new stock.

Believe me, even dropped from P3,000 to P1,200, this guy isn't worth it.

Though the concept is great (Iron Man with a nice little armory with missiles and guns and lions and tigers and bears, oh my!), execution is a on the cheap side. It's basically a hollow, roto-cast figure with 10-point articulation and a speaker. A statue that says "I am IRON MAN!"

I'll list the good points first ('cause I'm feeling good today). At the top of that list is the guns. He's got three of them that attach to his arms and shoulder. They look huge and appropriately intimidating. The biggest cannon attaches to a shoulder mount which also has a silly looking eyepiece "targeting" system. Cute, but no sale.

The sound gimmick is also a nice touch, especially for kids. He says "I am IRON MAN!", "Target acquired!", and few others. Plus, if you pick him up and fly him around, you get jet sounds. If you make him veer left, you hear the engines flaring. Kewlness. You need to remember to switch him from Test to On (there's a black switch in the back) to enable all the sounds, though. I had him for weeks before I realized this. I thought the flight sounds were broken and tried to disassemble his leg.

And that's it. That's the good.

The bad is articulation. He's got squat. His arms and legs swing forward, as do his elbows. His knees swing back. His hands are locked in this weird pose that is supposed to look like he's firing a repulsor blast, but without any power in his stance, it looks silly and oddly effeminate. They only thing he can do is squat or stand. That's it.

He comes with one other accessory, a jet pack. It's stupid. 'nuff said.

The build is something you'd expect from a much cheaper toy and the paint isn't anything to shake a stick at. It's nice that they included a removable helmet, but I, and I'm sure any kids who conned their parents into buying this, would have preferred light up eyes instead of the helmet and ball-jointed neck.

Right now, I'm thinking of shelling out the 9 grand for that Hot Toys version and using the guns on that. Or maybe kit-bashing my own exoskeleton centerpiece and using the guns as part of that. I can just give this to one of my cousins if that happens.