Polno Dianno of Bastard! Vinyl Statue from Kotobukiya

I don't collect many statues or vinyl figures. Mainly because they don't have alot of "play value", but also due to the fact that they are usually pricey pieces of plastic. If you're a Mint In Box (MIB) or Mint on Card (MOC) kind of guy who only displays toys, then Slangard's Law of Escalation of Aqusition will likely lead you to statues. Most of the MOCers I've met eventually let go of their action figure collections and start buying "high-end" collectibles. For the "loose" collector, keeping things in boxes kind of defeats the point of buying toys (Don't get me started on MIB Transformers collectors).

That's not to say I don't like statues. I'm tempted by these works of creative consumerism, as much as the next geek. And like the next geek, there are certain pre-requisites that are necessary to draw me away from counting points of articulation. Chief among them is that 1) the sculpture in question be based on a character of the opposite sex, 2) that that sculpture be ridiculously voluptuous, and 3) that it be either in the advance stages of undress or come with removable clothing so that you can display it in advance stages of undress.

I realize this is pervy and borderline anti-social, but geeks tend to go that way with age.

One of the statues that got a rise out of me (pun!) in the early days was Kotobukiya's Polno Dianno statue from Bastard!. I'm not familiar with the story behind the Bastard! manga or anime and not even sure if it was a comic or a cartoon or both. I'm not sure why she is wearing next to nothing. I'm not sure why she has the silly hat. I just know that this bat-girl is hella sexy!

I saw it first when I was in high school, playing hooky in Robinson's Metro East mall. They had this toystore on the third floor next to the arcades that sold high end toys and they had alot of them on display behind the glass. Naturally, being a teenager and this being the time before the internet and its countless terrabytes of free porn (yes, I'm that old), I drooled at the window along with all the other penniless perverts at this statue, among others. However, P5000 was way over the budget of a kid who got just enough for fare and food with a little extra for the occasional comic (remember when they were like P50? I do).

That store eventually closed, and took with it it's stock of packaged pervy perfection. Eventually, I did start collecting again and every once in a while I'd put up a post on the online bulletin boards that I was looking for this particular statue. I never got a nibble. I learned about Greenhills and the other specialty shops that carried these forbidden treasures, but there was never a sighting.

Then after about three years of toy collecting, sucess! I was at the Toy Kingdom Warehouse 2008 Sale and there she was, in all her MIB glory. Apparently, Toy Kingdom couldn't unload them (big surprise) so they had like pallets of boxes of these jewels stashed away. Since they had to get rid of them to make shelf space for stupid stuff like the new Marvel Universe line (argh! hate! rage!), they were selling Polno Dianno for only P1000! WIN!

Thing was that even though this figure was like now 10 years old now and demand was like virtually nil I'm sure, there were still hoarders/re-sellers going after it in hopes of selling it to some sucker on ebay who'd fall for the "HTF" (hard to find) next to the subject line. I couldn't believe this guy who was loading up carts (that's right plural) with boxes of them. Like any good collector, I had already spent my wad on other toys before coming to this area. Rats! I vowed to get cash that night and come back the next day first thing in the morning and get one. Luckily, aside from that one guy I saw the day before, demand proved to be low. Apparently, parents don't like to buy plastic representations of half-naked women, no matter how artistc; who'd have thunk?! I spent a while looking the remaining boxes over and I scored one with decent paint.

There's nothing to really "review" with statues like this. It's a very Rubenesque bat-girl, in a rather R-rated pose, with very little clothing. It doesn't move, there are no action features, there are no playsets. It's got one accessory (the hat is removable) and a stand to make sure she doesn't fall over. If you see it on shelf, you might want to check to see if the paints are passable. That's it.

Either you like it, or you think guys who collect things like this should be locked away and registered as sex offenders.

One look at it should be all you really need to decide. Happy Hunting!

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