Zombie Phone is Dead... or My LG G106 cellphone review


I've never really needed a phone since I'm one of those people that doesn't really feel the need to be available to anyone 24/7. I finally decided to start carrying one around when my sister wanted to upgrade to a new model. I inherited her old Nokia 5110.

The phone was first produced 1998 and discontinued in 2001. It was at one time the most popular phone on the planet. It was used in the X-files (mini-geekgasm). My particular unit has been in the family since the beginning, so it's over a decade old now. I never bothered to replace the cover with one of those more colorful faceplates. My only concession to personalization was a sticker on the back that eventually peeled off. My only concession to upgrading was to buy a slim battery when the original finally died. My sister put one of those acetates behind the screen (remember those?) and it bothers the hell out of you since you can't see what the hell your typing without exterior light. I never bothered to have it removed, which meant I regularly typed shit that made no sense at all. The plastic became brittle and the shell around the antenna disintegrated. It's been dropped, cracked, drenched, burned, bent, and busted. I dubbed him Zombie Phone a while back since he WOULD NOT DIE. I wouldn't let him.

Despite the insistance of others to replace this sorry piece of shit phone, I loved it to pieces. People seem to goggle at the fact that I have no qualms about having a 10 year old phone and feel no need to get the newest latest tech. But old ZP (Zippy for short) did exactly what I needed it to. Make calls and send text messages. I didn't need a whole lot of storage, I only know so many people. I don't need to send MMS messages. I have the Net. I don't need to take pictures. I've got a camera. More than one. I didn't even need him to send multiple messages in the course of one day. I never forward anything and only text people when there's something they need to know or I need to know from them.

Sadly, even zombies can die from a head shot and Zippy was not immortal. He had been acting up for months. Stubbornly shutting off while I was typing a message. Unpredictable battery life. Screen pixels going all fuzzy and chaotic. It was driving me nuts, but he was still doing his job. Then Ondoy came.

Fuck you Ondoy.

I was wandering about for hours in the rain and Zippy got drenched in my bag. After he dried out, the problems intensified, really becoming unbearable. And then his antenna bent. That was the proverbial straw. All of a sudden, he couldn't recieve a signal unless I was standing right next to a cell site soaking up rads and rads of radiation. Begrudingly, I accepted that I'd need to buy a new phone and let Zippy rest in peace.

I was looking at spending at least p10k on a new camera phone (cause I might as well you know, since I'm too lazy to bring my DSLR around). It would have been quite a hit to take. I was dreading it.

Then, happy day, I actually got one for free. I never win raffles. Well that's not entirely true. I won the office raffles a total of 3 times. Guess what I got. An oven toaster. All 3 times. So imagine my surprise when I got something that was so serendipitous!

It's another simple phone, an LG G106. Instead of an MP3 player, it's got an FM tuner. I get to listen to Mr. Foo, everyday now! Not. It has a camera, though its got like 1 pixel. Ain't no "mega" here. It's not as user friendly as the old 5110, which, let's face it, a 3 year old could figure out. It's been so long since I had to use any new tech, that it may be a while before I work out all the kinks. It is also a tiny little thing (it feels too small for my hand which is used to the Nokia brick), but it performs well in the texting and calling department, so I'm sold.

I shall name him, Splicky, son of Zippy. Perhaps he will live as long as good old Zippy. Time will tell if he shall join his father in the halls of Valhalla.



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