John Wick

You messed with the wrong guy.

That's basically what this movie is all about. To set your expectations straight, this is a revenge flick. It is a sub-genre of the action category that has recently included films like Taken, Man on Fire, Django Unchained, Old Boy, Munich, The Crow, and hundreds of others. Their unifying theme is that the bad guy always gets his due.

John Wick doesn't mess with the formula.

Short version: the movie was fucking awesome with about a hundred bad guys shot in the face. You should definitely go see it. 

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON.

Look, first rule: You don't steal a former super assassin's car.

That's just silly. If you're going to steal a car, do your homework. If the guy you plan on ripping off was a former hit man for the Russian mob and used to be known as Baba Yaga, a witch in Slavic folklore used to scare children, it's probably a good idea to re-think your direction in life.

Second rule: You don't kill a former super assassin's dog.

That's just not prudent, Holmes. It was a beagle man. Beagles are cute as bunnies. They can't hurt you and then you go and kill it? In front of the former super assassin?

Third rule: You don't steal a former super assassin's car.and kill his dog the day after his wife dies.

You do that and you deserve what you get, dumbass.

There really isn't that much plot to this movie. It's basically Keanu Reeves using Center Axis Relock, or the grab-that-guy-to-use-as-a-human-shield, punch-this-guy-in-the-throat, shot-that-other-guy-in-the-face, shot-throat-guy-in-the-face, shoot-human-shield-guy-in-the-face fighting system to kill all the bad guys.

But, oh, god it is so satisfying.

It helps that Alfie Allen is basically playing the same role he plays in Game of Thrones, a Theon Greyjoy with a Russian accent and a posse of gangster wannabes. It also helps that Michael Nyqvist plays his gangster father just right, so that you don't sympathize with him at all as he tries to keep his son alive. They're both bad dudes and when they get their just desserts, all you want to do is jump out of your seat, do a couple of fist pumps and scream, "EAT THAT MOTHERFUCKER!" at the movie screen.

And it's insane how much more talent was attracted to this project. I expect Lionsgate movies to be entertaining, but how they got all these fantastic actors in one little no-hype action film is beyond me: Willem Dafoe, Adrianne Palicki, Bridget Moynahan, Ian McShane, Bridget Regan, John Leguizamo, Daniel Bernhardt, and Lance Reddick all play fantastic little roles in the film that are memorable even if they only get a little screen time.

The directors, David Leitch and Chad Stahelski, are both stunt coordinators and fight choreographers and have worked in films like V for Vendetta, 300, Constantine, and a lot of others. Here, they are able to take the experience they've had as 2nd Unit Directors and really give us an action movie that doesn't stop once it get's started.

With the kind of stuff that's happening in the country, with news of corruption in all aspects of our government, it's nice that for about an hour and a half, I can go to the cinema and watch as a the bad guys are shot in the face one by one. You can watch as an entire criminal empire is brought to it's knees simply because they pissed off the wrong dude.

When is that EVER going to happen in real life?

Exactly.