Movie Review - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Rating:	★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Science Fiction & Fantasy

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Word of warning: This movie feels about 3 hours, though the Net says it's only 2 and a half. It was scheduled to start at 5:20 pm and when we left around 10 till 8, they were just getting to the final battle between Prime and the big bad. I'll be watching it again tomorrow (and twice again this weekend) so no biggie.

Honestly, I went into Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen fully expecting to hate it. I haven't been a fan of Michael Bay since The Rock. Much like Tony Scott, he seems to be a one-trick pony that doesn't want to veer from what he's always done. Fortunately for us, that one-trick seems to work a lot better in his sequel to the 2007 blockbuster than it did the first time around.

It still has much of the same problems: over-abundance of characters, the irritatingly active camera, lack of any real character development for the robot characters, and obvious continuity problems. Anyone who has half a brain will find it hard NOT to have some kind of internal dialogue going on during the show, asking questions. For one, why are Blackout (don't give me that "He's a different character" nonsense) and Bonecrusher still there? Weren't they scrapped in the first film? Why are there still Constructicons running around the battlefield while Devastator is doing his thing? And what the F*** is Jetfire doing with a cane and a scottish brogue? It's as bad as Grievous' tuberculosis in Star Wars.

Now that that's out of the way... I liked it.

Revenge of the Fallen is an action picture. Scratch that, it's a summer action picture. No, scratch THAT. It's a summer action picture by MICHAEL BAY. Yeah it's all about the hot girls, nice cars, big robots, and action sequences, but ask yourself, "Isn't that what you paid for?". You knew it going in, why complain. Turn off your brain, reduce yourself to his level and start enjoying your 200 bucks.

The action sequences are the same as the first movie, with hyper-kenetic camera work in the effects sequences, slow-mo highlights, 360 shots (god, I am so tired of this), and lots and lots of explosions. Difference is, they're a lot longer and were more satisfying. They pulled the camera out a bit and framed the action to give you a clearer picture of what was happening. The standoff in the forest with Prime versus 3 Decepticons had me cheering. It was almost as good as his arrival on Earth in the Animated Movie.

There is no character development at all (except for Starscream, who gets to act like his cowardly self), not even with Prime or Megatron. If you're looking for the deep dialogue and lots of complicated twists and turns, you're in the wrong movie. Remember that this whole franchise was based on what were basically 30 minute long toy commercials. I liked the direction they went here, sticking more closely to canon.

Instead of some ineffable "cube", the Decepticons are looking for energy. Pure and simple. They've built a machine that'll destroy the Earth and turn it into energon, and the key they need is the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. The Fallen is basically the same as he was when he was introduced in the comics; one of the first robots created who turned on his brothers. In this version he's got a mentor/mentee relationship with Megatron that resembles the Unicron/Galvatron partnership. Or it would if there was actually characterization. Fans will see the parallels with the the cartoon and the Animated Movie.

Is it a faithful adaptation? No. But it's far more satisfying than the excuse for a plot they had in the first one. One still gets the feeling that during the pitch, Bay was saying stuff like "Devastator's climbing up the Pyramid..." and "Demolisher is rampaging through Shanghai while Sideswipe is chasing that Audi..." and "so she sits on his lap and there's this upskirt shot while they're frenching and a tail folds out of her dress..." and then he just asked his script doctors to just put all those set pieces together when he gets the greenlight.

What? upskirt?

NECA T-800 Endoskeleton

Rating:	★★
Category:	Other

T-800 Endoskeleton

I've already ranted about the shortcomings about Playmate's Terminator: Salvation line in my Pescadero Escape so... I'll just copy and paste:

"The new Playmates Terminator: Salvation toy line is much the same. They look nothing like their movie counterparts, plastic quality looks cheap, and the paint applications are basic. I don’t know why they bothered with the bigger scale at all as it just makes the flaws that much easier to see. About the only thing I wanted from their line was the new Terminator costume pieces, the ones that you stick to your face and arms? I know you were thinking of buying them and going to a meeting with those on your face and a pair of red contacts."

I'm lazy like that.

I had just bought a few 1/18th scale Iron Man figures the same day I got the new NECAs and I was seriously considering getting a few of the Playmates' 3 3/4"s endoskeletons to pit them against (I not one to complain about the logical inconsistancy of one geekverse paying a visit to the next), but everytime I look at the quality of the Playmates line, I just want to ask WHY? Sure, TMNT was a fun line, but Playmates has clearly made a line of toys for young kids, when the movie is

Thankfully, NECA is around to give us nice and proper representations of the only real Terminator; our friendly neighborhood T-800!

First things first; for the love of Pete, be careful with yours! About 5 minutes after I started playing with him, the "hydraulic" piston thingie on the right leg broke. Apparently the tiny pegs are made of soft plastic and not metal pegs like in the arms. I was able to glue it, but this has hampered the articulation and he looks kind of lopside. Sort of a gimp robot. sigh.

Don't take this as a point against NECA though. I'm not as careful with toys as most collectors and that 5 minutes was spent trying to get him to do the splits. Suffice to say that isn't possible. The articulation is abundant, but it doesn't have a lot of range. Some of that is NECA's fault I'm sure, but I think alot of it stems from the fact that it's supposed to be movie accurate, and let's face it, the thing wasn't exactly nubile in the movie was it? Many of the joints have the hydraulic pistons so the range of motion is locked to what they'll allow.

Here's what he does have, cut neck, compound shoulders (A peg joint and hinge joint that give him 180 degree range in any direction), hinge elbows, swivel wrists, swivel waist, ball jointed hips, hinge knees, swivel ankles, hinged toes. Plus he's got two "door" things on his back and one on his abdomen. At first I though the one on his stomach was a ab crunch... no such luck.

The shoulders are probably the best, letting you put his arms in any position you want, but the other joints are hampered but the little doohickys stuck to him. For instance, his waist joint (actually it's somewhere in his stomach) will only turn about 10 degrees from his center,and it won't stay there due to two more of those hydraulic doodads, which look great... but aren't practical.

My feeling is they proabably should have gone with a more pliant plastic like the ones Hasbro used on the recent Sideswipe toy.

He comes with some accessories, an extra hand and a gun. He can't really hold the gun well and the extra had is kind of pointless. No biggie since the figure itself is the biggest draw.

The thing that really peeves me is that he won't stand up, especially on smooth surfaces. Because of his small, oddly shaped footprint, and extremely light frame, he tends to fall over at the slightest breeze. Well, can't have everything.

All in all, I prefer the Pescadero Terminator to this one. Despite better articulation and amazing detail, it doesn't feel as fun as Arnie. If you're a display only collector, then yes, by all means buy it. But I'd think twice if you're a guy who wants to have a Terminator vs. Superman battle.

Terminator 2: Pescadero Escape from NECA

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Other

Terminator 2: Pescadero Escape from NECA

 

I will admit it. I enjoyed Terminator: Salvation.

It is what it is; a popcorn movie. Something to watch when you need to kill 2 hours. I like it much the way I like Michael Bay's Transformers; it's not the original, but if you separate it completely from the franchise and treat it as a completely seperate quantum reality where logic is not necessary and canon isn't the rule of law, then you're golden. You can sit back and enjoy the fluff.

Watching McG's little action movie didn't so much as make me want to see more of THAT universe, it made me want to go home and watch James Cameron's original one. Those were the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. The days when terminators were Terminators, and not slow slabs of junk with bandanas. When effects were state of the art and supported the story. When T-800's walked over a field of human skulls, and Arnold schwars... Arnold Shwarzeb... The Governator straddled that Harley like there was no tomorrow...

I digress... Anyway, those are images that stick with you when you mention Terminator. "I'll Be Back", "Hasta La Vista", and every scene with Robert Patrick in it. After seeing the new MickeyG version, I had a time trying to remember anything at all.

The new Playmates Terminator: Salvation toy line is much the same. They look nothing like their movie counterparts, plastic quality looks cheap, and the paint applications are basic. I don't know why they bothered with the bigger scale at all as it just makes the flaws that much easier to see. About the only thing I wanted from their line was the new Terminator costume pieces, the ones that you stick to your face and arms? I know you were thinking of buying them and going to a meeting with those on your face and a pair of red contacts.

Thankfully, the new movie has one shining silver lining. It allowed NECA to do a couple more figures that do justice to the classic Terminator. So far, I've only seen three of the 5 figures slated to be in this line. 2Rats (and by extension Toy Kingdom) is selling wave 1 of the series; the "T-800 Endoskeleton", "Pescadero Escape", and "Man and Machine". I'm still hoping that the "Cyberdyne Showdown", and "Final Battle" will be brought in since I really REALLY want that mini-gun and grenade launcher.

Even if they don't get the second part of the line, I'm completely satisfied getting one nice Arnold Schwarzenheimer figure at this scale. The 6" scale is great, but the 7"ers are good too. There's a ton more details that are added into that extra inch, but there is a corresponding price. NECA figures in the Philippines go for about p1,200.00, while DC Universe Classic (near enough to 7" scale) figures go for about p1,300.00. They're also a lot harder to find since only 2Rats brings them in and only a few Toy Kingdom branches get them. I got mine at TK Megamall.

I know that there are the 1/6 scale adherents, but even if I HAD the money to really go that route, I'd rather have toys that were meant to be handled and played with. The Model 101 is a great example of the kind of detail you can smoosh into something this size.

The package is like most NECA movie lines. The squarish clamshell is great for guys who collect toys "Mint on Card", and for loose collectors, it's easy enough to open with a knife. This is still my favorite kind of packaging since you can just cut along the bottom, slide the tray out, undo a few twisties, and about 30 minutes later, you have your toy. Slap it's bottom to make sure it's breathing and you're ready to go.

It's also easy to keep these packages and return the figure to them for storage. Or, if you decide you don't want the figure, you can sell it at minimal loss by advertising it as "Loose on Card". Sweet.

The likeness on this sculpt is superb. I saw the pics on Poe Ghostal's blog and just had to have him. NECA has been putting out some great figures based on movie licenses and they've got a nice selection in their cult classics, but this is Arnold Shcwarmenschalager. If you live in Antarctica with the penguins you probably know what he looks like. The sculptor did an excellent job giving this little guy the face of Arn.

He's got some excellent poseability as well. In the upper half anyway. Balljoint shoulders, balljoint elbows, and wrist swivels. These allow a nice range for the arms. His head is on a balljoint as well. It's really a nice one that is different from anything I've seen. Instead of a joint a the neck and one at the base of the skull, they've sculpted the head and neck together and it connects to the torso at a ball and socket joint. This looks a hell of a lot more natural than anything before it and I seriously hope Hasbro adopts it for future use.

His only accessory is his Winchester shotgun. It looks small, but I'm guessing it's actually perfectly scaled. My perception is probably just warped from the constant oversized superhero guns of the 90's. I'm thinking it would look great with my 6" Punisher since he IS a comicbook superhero. It's got amazing details on it and fits right into his hands securely. You won't need to worry about losing it at all if you display him with it in both hands.

His jacket's torso is a seperate piece, but it's not removable. It is however speckled with lots of little bullet holes. How's that for an eye for detail? Excellent.

He has a few extra points of articulation; A cut waist which is functional, ball jointed ankles, which are just about useless and one cut joint on his left thigh which is MORE than useless. Don't get the idea that he is any kind of poseable from the waist down. The thigh cut is best left alone since his legs don't look right if you do move it, and it's pointless to move his ankles since the legs don't move. Why they bothered is a mystery, but it's a small complaint considering the rest of the toy.

Bottom line: NECA's Pescadero Escape figure from their Terminator 2 license is all it's cracked up to be... for collectors and fans. If you're a dilettante, forget it. You'll probably regret spending for it and are better off sticking with the mass market toys.

Drag Me to Hell

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Horror

Drag Me to Hell

It's been awhile since I've actually been scared while watching a horror movie. After 20 years worth of watching films from all over the world, I've become understandably jaded. I don't cringe during The Sixth Sense, I don't faint during The Ring, and I thought The Blair Witch Project was a piece of crap that should never see release in any other form ever again. When a friend comes up to me and tells me the latest J-horror film is really REALLY scary, my standard reaction is, "meh."

And American horror is the worst of it (well, Pinoy horror is the worst, but it's so bad I don't even count it). There have been some gems that have come from Hollywood, but for the most part, the American Horror movie industry sticks to a methodology of movie-making that seems to only satisfy American Horror movie fanatics. There's the slasher flick, where people are pursued by a monster in human form who tends to kill his victims in the most ludicrously brutal way imaginable. There's torture porn, where victims are held captive and sick, deranged experiments are done to them. There's the ghost-story-as-action-flick variety that doesn't even bother to try and scare, just gives you alot of fancy special effects and pretty girls. And then there are the sub-genre films like Vampire movies and Zombie movies, which are usually either another effects driven vehicle or a campy B-movie.

None of these really gives me a fright, though after Hostel, I did swear off torture porn...

But Sam Raimi is proof that there are still guys in Hollywood that have the talent. He is a geek's geek. A guy who seems to love what he's doing, but knows how to do it. Along with Joss Whedon, Kevin Smith, Bryan Singer, Alex Proyas, Stan Lee and Peter Jackson, they make up my Pantheon of Geek Gods. He pretty much re-invented the comic book super hero movie with Spider-man. Let's face it, Dark Knight was great, so was Iron Man, but with out Spider-man, neither would have made it out of the pitch.

Drag Me to Hell is a little diffrent from Spider-man, obviously, and it's a a little different from other American horror movies. Many people compare it with the Evil Dead series and Army of Darkness, but I always thought those films had a generous amount of camp in them and were more like Zombie movies, more comedy than horror. This one is not; it's a horror movie with a lot of laughs thrown in.

Now I don't want to spoil anything for people who haven't watched it, but lets face it, the theme of the movie is pretty straight forward. What you don't get from the title, you get from the poster. She's cursed. She gets dragged to Hell. Period. It's the stuff that happens in between that's so much fun.

Well that, and some of the stuff right before. The beginning sequence is great, and really puts you in the right place for this kind of flick. By minute 5, you're date/scaredy cat friend will be covering their face and whimpering beside you. After the initial fireworks, things slow down for some basic exposition, but pick right up.

The movie is not for the faint of heart or for the squeamish. If the mere mention of phlegm is enough to make you gag, save yourself the trouble of cleaning up. If you don't like dead bodies, body parts and/or bodily fluids, then don't bother paying for the ticket. This movie will ruin your day. If, however, you find the use of these cinematic tools exciting, then Drag Me to Hell is right up your alley.

Get some rest before hand. As a friend of mine observed after the ride, all that screaming is "exhausting".

Toy Review: Legends Class Classic Transformers

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Other

Generation 1 Legends Class Transformers

It's estimated that the human brain stores info on an internal hard disk drive that has about 1000 terrabytes of storage space. For those of you that don't know the difference between RAM and ROM, that's a lot. I, on the other hand, seem to be an older model, running with some thing like a few hundred gigs. There's only so much that will stick, and it's hard to find what I need when I need it. I may need to start a new filing system or something.

Of course the stuff that does stick is usually obscure geek culture references to the odd 80's cartoon, movie, music icon, etc. I couldn't tell you what I had for lunch yesterday, or where I was last Friday morning, but I can tell you that Visionaries, Sky Commanders, and Inhumanoids only had 13 episodes apiece but were loads better than the crap they feed kids today. I even forget about the toys I'm supposed to be on the look out for.

The Transformers Universe Classic Wave which had a great lineup of Generation 1 characters was one I was looking forward to. Unfortunately, it was released locally when I was on one of my self-imposed exiles from the toy stores after a particularly heavy round of shop hopping. Fortunately, I spend an obscene amount of time on the local toy boards while at work and was able to get a heads up before they dissappeared completely. Unfortunately, alot of other people were after these toys as well and the bigger sites were cleaned out as soon as that yellow tag appeared. Fortunately, I was able to get most of them at my own personal little-toystore-that-time-forgot, Toy Kingdom at The Podium.

I love how the universe works itself out in the end.

Let's start with Brawn.

He's a good figure for his size, and has the requisite shoulder, hip, and knee movements. There are no elbows, so that's a minus for him, but since the scale is so small, there are really only a few that have them.

He looks good in robot form, but the when in vehicle mode, his feet stick out below his chassis. They're very obvious if you view him from the side, and don't look anything but other than what they are, big robot clown feet. It would have been great if they folded up into the body.

Next up is Cosmos.

I really like this one, despite it's oddness. Because of his weird vehicle mode, a flying saucer (X-Files Flashback! X-Files Flashback!) his arms are locked in a pose that looks like he's about to bear hug Brawn. it's a weird looking, but you can forgive a lot at this scale.

He does come with extra paint aps, too. Some alien writing on his surface. Looks like Arabic, or Korean, or Klingon. Fitting since he's a UFO. I'm sure he knows the Vulcan neck pinch, too.

The footprint he has also makes him hard to stand. The hollow backside, lack of an ankle, and his loose joints mean you'll need to work a bit to get him stable. Other than that, Cosmos is probably one of the funnest toys in a while.

Beachcomber, the Autobot stoner is up next.

This guy annoyed the hell out of me when I was a kid, but this version looks really nice. He reminds me of Snake Eyes, with his googles. He's the only one of these toys to come with a gun. It's a detachable machine gun in the back (though WHY it detaches is a mystery, since he can hold it in robot mode). His vehicle mode is an upgraded, more modern dune buggy. It looks like something out of a military video game... if it wasn't blue of course.

He shares the same articulation as Brawn, which is great. It gives him a few good poses. His transformation scheme is alot like the old mini-bots; flip open the hood to form feet, pull out the arms, presto! I'm not complaining. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Hound was one of the last ones I got, mostly because I wasn't sure if I was goin to get him.

Unlike most of these guys, Hound never was a mini-bot. He was the equivalent of a Deluxe Class toy back in in the day of 2-points-of-articulation. So this update is kind of weird, especially since they just did one in the Deluxe scale. Still, it's nice to have him with the others to display, so here he is.

I will say that he has a nicer paint job than most of them. The others seem to lack alot of applications, having many spots where it just looks like Hasbro dropped the ball and just plain DIDN'T paint areas. Thankfully, Hound has less of that.

Jazz was the first one I bought, since he was my favorite as a kid.

I don't know why he's not in the Deluxe Class either. He was the same size as Hound during the early years, and he certainly deserves it. I'm sure every Transformers fanboy remembers "Jazz to Moonbase-2! Jazz to Moonbase-2". He was the cool guy before Blaster appeared on the scene.

This is a worthy homage to him, with the necessary 6-point articulation, and an extra 2 (ankles) thrown in. Unfortunately, this is one of those with the aforementioned unpainted areas. Notice his door windows? blah.

There are a few bots from Season 2 present, first among them Hot Rod.

I don't care what other fans say, I loved Hot Rod in the movie and cartoon. He was the underdog hero with the cool scenes. The race up and down the mountain, the underwater nightmare, the Galvatron beat-down. I really can't wait for the Fans Project upgrade of the Classics version.

This little one is a pretty good rendition too. He's got the flames, the young look, the red paint. Not as great as the Transformers Classic, and no where near perfect, but a nice little figure.

Wheelie is the other bot from the movie.

Unlike Hot Rod, he was annoying as hell. The toy's good though. He lacks knee articulation (well, articulation in the right direction anyway) but he's a great nod to the G1 character. He even has the "ballcap".

The best one in the bunch, hands down, is Warpath.

Aside from having the best articulation (he has elbows!), his bot form is the most convincing. He just looks the part of his character and every time I play with the toy, I can't help but yell, "BANG! KA-POW! ZING!" just like he used to in the cartoon.

I wish they had given him Ultra Class treatment like Powerglide, another mini-bot who got an upgrade that was more realistic scale wise. I mean Warpath is a TANK and he's tiny. Oh, well.

The most dissapointing one for me was Bumblebee.

I spent weeks looking for this guy, since he was the only one I couldn't find at Podium. After getting one, I wished that I could get those weeks back, since he was a pretty crappy bot.

The first thing I notice was that he's huge compared to the others. He's taller than most of the other figures in his wave. What? He's BUMBLEBEE. Hello? Even the Transformers Animated Legends Bee was smaller than the others.

Another thing is that he's got no knees. what a gyp.

In the end. I'm glad I was able to complete the wave. Well, except for Megatron. But he's not an Autobot, so meh. They whole set looks much better displayed together than one by one, and it's an excellent group to have on your desk at work.

Revenge of the Fallen: Sideswipe

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Other

Revenge of the Fallen: Sideswipe

You got to applaud Michael Bay. Hack director or not, he knows his shit when it comes to making money. Instead of upfront payment as a director, the man now demands a slice of net profits. That means whatever money one of his movies brings in after the studio expenses, he gets a percentage. For "Pearl Harbor" it was 50%. Who knows how much how much it was for the Transformers movie or for the sequel.

He gets the same kind of deal for the toyline. According to Forbes, The Bayman gets an estimated 8% royalty on Transformer toy profits. Imagine the kind of moolah that brings in? Every time you go to the toy store and pick up a new movie toy, a few pesos are going into this doink's pocket.

It's almost enough to make me want to return my Sideswipe.

Almost.

Apparently, this new bot is the cream of the crop from Wave 2 of the new Revenge of the Fallen Toyline. It's not hard to understand why. The toy is the epitome of slick, with a great vehicle and robot form, a gimick that doesn't completely suck, and a paint job that rivals the ones on Premium Jazz from the first movie.

Overall, Sideswipe definitely deserves the praise he's been getting on the forums, and the attention he's been getting from scalpers. You'd be lucky to find this guy in toy stores nowadays. As soon as he's re-stocked, their picked up by either voracious collectors, or opportunistic specialty stores to re-sell. I've been actively searching for one since missing out on it during the toy lauch a few weeks ago and have seen him for more than 200% of retail at several shops. Luckily, I was able to find one in Kidstation in Greenbelt.

Naturally, I did the Meposian Dance of Joy and ran to the cash register, cash in hand.

I don't know how accurate to the original his back story is, but the toy itself isn't too close to the G1 Sideswipe. For one thing, he was a red Lambourghini. This guy's a silver concept Corvette. Pretty looking thing really, almost nice enough to replace the Shelby GT as my favorite car. While I wish they had stuck with the nice candy apple red of the original, this silver finish is really beautiful for a mass market toy.

There are problems with the silver paint though. From looking at Sideways and the old Premium Jazzes, there's a high chance of an error somewhere. Dust, scratches, globs of paint on the surface, or at the edges. I can see it's going to be hard to keep this guy in pristine condition.

There is also the fact that unlike the old Premium line, He doesn't get much paint on the internal parts. Alot of his robot parts are just cast plastic. Not really bad, and totally understandable considering costs, but It would have been nice to see a few more paint apps on his arms and legs.

The transformation to robot is unique. It's nowhere near as hard as the Leader Class Prime, but it's very satisfying for an old fan like me. It's not something rehashed from past bots for one thing. You basically start by pulling out his arms from the rear, opening the hood and flipping down his legs, locking the chest in place. You can do it in a minute or two.

There is another quality issue on mine where the hood halves don't lay flush together. You can see it in one of the pictures above. I think there may be some extra plastic in one of the tabs underneath that is preventing it, but I'm loath to mess with it.

He's got the chicken legs that are becoming so popular in the Bayverse. The biggest problem he has really is the feet, and it's one I can't understand. They're made from the corners of his hood, and aside from being backwards, they are not flat. This makes him a real bitch to stand up, forget any kick tests. If you have any stands from other toy lines like Gundam or Revoltech, I suggest you use them.

His gimick is his "swords" which while generally looking the part, don't really sell themselves as blades. They are way to thick and look more like exactly what they are, pieces of his doors. Still, it's a nice little tick that you can add on, and I can forgive them that since it is made for kids.

The door pieces are geared, so when you turn one, the other turns with it. You can leave them up, like in the photo above, or you leave them in the middle, you get Edward Scissorhands.

He's also got this "Mech Alive" malarky that is on all the new toys. It's a ridiculous marketing ploy that touts it self as pieces of armor that move to the ideal angle that will deflect incoming laser attacks. piffle. On Sidswipe, you'll find it on his knees. If you move his leg, a blue piece on the front moves out. Nothing that adds anything to the toy, but nothing that subtracts from it either.

With all the ball joints on this sucker, you'll get him in some great poses, but with his feet, you'll need the aforementioned stand for him to keep any of them. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of him standing on his wheels like rollerblades, but there should have been an extra piece that would allow for some stability.

That being said, he's a great toy and shoud be added to any shopping list of fans.